How many bags can you carry??

I pull in the driveway and heave a big sigh. I mentally prepare myself for the task that lay ahead. Despite the ache in my back and the pain in my legs from pushing the heavy cart through the store and loading the bags into the back of my van, I open the read hatch and begin decorating my arms with plastic bags. When each arm is draped with bags from elbow to wrist, I grab the remaining bags in each hand, leaving only the bulky items behind. Slowly, I waddle my way to the front door, nearly paralyzed by the time I reach it. Very carefully, so as not to drop anything, I bring my foot up and kick at the door. All the while thinking to myself, “He knows I went to the grocery, why doesn’t he ever come out to help me carry things in?”

My unsuspecting husband opens the door and begins relieving me of my burdens.

“Why do you always try to carry everything yourself, at one time?” he asks. “You know I’m here to help you.”

So, as not to hurt his feelings, I reply, “I left the heavy stuff for you. It’s in the back of the van.”

Does anyone else do this, or am I the only one?

For the sake of this blog, let’s change a few things within my story. Let’s change the bags of groceries to fears, worries, or burdens. Starting to sound a little more familiar? And what if we replace my darling husband with our Heavenly Father?

Now, this becomes a story I can really relate to. What about you? So often, I find myself weighted down by worries and fears because I rationalize that ‘this fear’ is silly, or ‘that worry’ is too small, and I should be able to carry it myself—but I leave the ‘heavy stuff’ for God.

I stumble along until I become paralyzed by the stress of it all. And then, unable to move a muscle, I hear God’s quiet voice—

“Why do you always try to carry everything yourself, at one time?” He asks. “You know I’m here.”

Last weekend, I heard a very interesting breakdown of Psalm 27, that I want to remember as I face my fears.

I want to:
Remember my strongest ally
Psalm 27:1 The Lord is my light and my salvation---whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life---of whom shall I be afraid?

I want to:
Visualize the ‘best case’ scenario, and not the ‘worst case’ scenario, and what if’s
Psalm 27:2-3 When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh, when my enemies and my foes attack me, they will stumble and fall. Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then will I be confident.

I want to:
Continually return to a place of worship, where I feel safe and protected in God’s embrace
Psalm 27:4-6 One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple. For in the day of trouble he will keep me sage in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle and set me high upon a rock. Then my head will be exalted above the enemies who surround me; at his tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts of joy; I will sing and make music to the Lord.

I want to:
Refocus on seeking God’s face, not his hands and what he can do for me, but I want to gaze upon the face of God, to know he is truly with me
Psalm 27:7-12 Hear my voice when I call, O Lord; be merciful to me and answer me. My heart says of you, “Seek his face!” Your face, Lord, I will seek. Do not hide your face from me, do not turn your servant away in anger; you have been my helper. Do not reject me or forsake me, O God my Savior. Though my father and my mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me. Teach me your way, O Lord; lead me in a straight path because of my oppressors. Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes, for false witnesses rise up against me, breathing out violence.

I want to:
Remind myself of what I already know to be true
God is good
Psalm 27:13 I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living,
Faith must be patient
Psalm 27:14 Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

I want to…
Stare fear in the eye…and wink
Because God is bigger than any of my worries or fears

I want to…
Laugh in the face of adversity
Because the Lord is my ally and my stronghold

And when I don’t know what the future holds
I want to…
Find comfort in knowing who holds it in the palm of his hands.